Why can’t they just stop?

We all start from the same point when it comes to substance use. One of the developmental tasks of adolescence (ages 13-21) according to Erikson is identity vs confusion. This is the time when young people begin to try on different personas and explore who they are and who they want to be. Peers have the most influence during this time.

Adolescents are primed for “experimentation”, the first stage of experience with drugs and alcohol. They try alcohol, pot, a pill or drop acid for the first time. Not all of them will continue. They stop at the experimentation stage.

Some of those adolescents will begin to make it a regular thing with their peers. Smoking pot before/during/after school or drinking on the weekends surrounding a school event. Now they have entered the “social use” phase because it is done with others.

It is during this time that the early warning signs appear and certain youngsters will stand out because of how they drink or use. Some of them take more risks, consume more than others, mix more than one substance.

This is when the “abuse” stage begins. The individual knows they consumed too much but either due to peer pressure, lack of education, feelings of immortality or all of the above, they continue to play the dangerous game of cat and mouse with addiction.

Some of those young people will progress to the “dependence” stage before they are 18. Why is that? There are a whole host of factors. Genetics, mental health family history, substance use family history, trauma, permissiveness in the family – the list goes on and on. It makes a difference whether you start before or after the age of 12.

I have flipped the script on this discussion in my groups, turning it towards the idea of “protective factors”. What existed in your life that created resilience, provided support, advantages you experienced?

The abuse stage can continue a long time for people, well into their 30s and 40s, especially because our culture is so accepting of partying, happy hour, using alcohol and marijuana to blow off steam and celebrate events and occasions.

Some may never become dependent in spite of years of use and their ability to maintain a lifestyle. This is the crux of why many don’t understand those that cannot stop without assistance.